Snobby strolling.

I can never decide who I am going to be when I go out walking with the baby.

When I was younger and I had all my kiddies out at the park or on walks, I absolutely loved when people thought they were mine. I was between the ages of thirteen and eighteen and I would have three or four kids of all different ages and races and people would kind of screw up their faces in confusion and ask me subtle questions.

On more than one occasion I played right into it and let them think I was a fourteen year old with multiple toddlers.

From time to time I would tell the truth.

There was one special outing with my little sister and my nephew, who are about the same age and exactly the same color, where the Wendy's clerk thought they were twins. I had to be about seventeen, which would put them in the eight to nine range. I nodded along to her guesses. Yes, I was their mother and they were twins, not aunt and nephew. It just made my life easier.

And funnier.

My favorite time was with my Liam, when a Chinese lady asked me in broken, but shocked English if he was mine. I wasn't young anymore and (including skin color) Liam looks nothing like me. Our features couldn't be more different, but I guess when you see a girl running around with a baby at a park you're not really studying features.

I did tell the poor woman that I was his sitter, so that her eyes would stop bulging. I'm not sure why it was so astonishing to her. They have foreigners in China now, right?

Since I've been here with Baby I all the time, I like to take him out around the neighborhood. In the beginning, I was so distracted with my search for the elusive pool, but since its location has been revealed to me, I am able to better concentrate on looking like a rich mom when I'm out.

Since I like to wear dresses in the summertime anyway, my wardrobe is working to my benefit. I like to put on big sunglasses and sometimes my floppy hat and walk around the neighborhood eying sickeningly extravagant houses.

Today I forgot my hat and my sunglasses.

Usually I take the double stroller, which has room for my phone, the baby's cup and whatever else I think we might need. For some reason, I thought taking the single today would be a nice change of pace.

I had to stash my phone in the top of my dress and the baby had to hold his cup. Only he didn't. He threw it. Repeatedly.

Instead of looking like a Desperate Housewife, I ended up looking like a sweaty, frustrated crazy person. I chased that stupid cup down sooooo many hills.

It wasn't all bad though.

We just so happened to be out when all the landscapers were working.

I love to say hello to them, because they never expect it. When they see me coming they kind of shuffle out of the way and avoid eye contact. So then I try my darnedest to make eye contact and smile and say hi.

And today I said hi to the most handsome Mexican in all the world.

And he smiled back.

While I was all sweaty and the baby was singing "Where is Thumpkin?" and the stroller was squeaking and trying to slip away from me on the downhill.

We stopped at the park and I let Baby off to play. I encountered the only black person I've seen in the community, ever. She is also a nanny and her little blondie was playing on the swings. Baby I developed an instant crush and wanted to swing beside her, so I chatted with the other nanny for a bit.

Baby I's little girlfriend is six. He's one. Baby likes the cougars.

Not fifteen minutes in I smelled pooh, so we had to say goodbye and head home. I had intelligently not packed a diaper bag.

I did a better job of looking like I thought I was important on the way home. The baby didn't drop his cup at all, just dumped its contents onto his lap.

I texted and walked a bit before I flashed back to almost getting hit by that MD, and that was when I wasn't even texting. Rich people aren't very good drivers and when you add in the fact that this group is New Yorkers, it's pretty clear that I shouldn't gamble with our lives by trying to multitask on the street.

I put my phone away and practiced looking mildly annoyed with a hint of sophistication.

It didn't last long before I passed a house that I pass very often. There are two little boys who live there and their Chinese nanny is often outside with them. We say hi a lot so I did today and waved. The baby waved and the two boys waved back and it was all good and friendly.

Domestics in this neighborhood can smell each other out.

I think we're what make it a friendly place.

And I'm positive that we're the sole reason this place can claim any sort of diversity at all.