I could kill you.

T briefed me on how mornings go last night and asked me to put eggs on to boil for the kids so that they'd be ready to eat at 8 o'clock. This morning I did just that and had my breakfast while the eggs boiled. R, the four year old girl who really runs this house, joined me and began eating her egg. It's too freshly exhausting to go into detail, but R and I had our first real fight this morning. She defied me as hard as she could and when I told her to get back in her chair and eat her breakfast she shrugged nonchalantly and said, "I could kill you."

I'm not really sure where to go with that.

A lot of kids, especially girls, have a hard time coping with new people in their lives, especially women. I just told her she probably couldn't and went about my business. But don't worry, if her dark side turns out to be more prominent I will contact the proper authorities.

I spent my day organizing the kids' clothing. T has bags and bags and bags of clothes stashed in R and J's closet. None of the dresser drawers had any hint of organization to them so I just folded EVERYTHING and went through all the bags. It was quite exhausting, but I was in good company. Willie Nelson, the dog, has taken a position as my shadow and for part of the morning I had the baby with me.

He's my favorite. Baby I is happy and too little to have an attitude problem. He eats when I feed him. He sits when I sit him down. He talks when I talk to him. No matter how outside of the rest of this family I feel, I have baby I and Willie on my side.

T was in and out of the house doing her work and I entertained myself in between chores by unpacking my room. The bed that was in place in the basement is covered in THE tackiest bedspread I have ever seen. It's cream with big neon green flower print and the matching lamp is in the baby's room. It matches the bright orange and pink flowered rug. Sadly, my calm colored comforter doesn't and that is what has replaced the 70s reject. The rug is too big to move.

I took the baby for a nice walk this afternoon. I learned my way around the neighborhood. Two streets behind me are some of the BIGGEST houses I have ever seen in person. I saw a stroller parked in front of one. I'm going to go ask them if they need a nanny.

I'm having an silent struggle with T. She is so hard to read and I'm not sure what to make of her. I can't figure out of she's easy going or controlling, aloof or very confident. It seems to change with each conversation. What I will tell you, especially to comfort those of you who might be reading this who I have worked for in the past, I have NEVER had such a conflicted impression of an employer before. I have loved most of the families I worked for, usually right off the bat. But T is definitely keeping me on my toes. I don't know if I'm part of the family or lowly hired help.

Either way, today was actually pretty good. I feel like I have a place here even though I don't know what it is. Tonight E and T and the two older kids are out for their regular Friday holiday. I don't know how to spell it so I won't try, but it's a Jewish thing.

Those of you who are praying for me, I appreciate it more than you know.

Now I'm off to email my future pastor so that I don't accidentally switch religions!