Take 2.

Welcome back to my almost daily blog. I'm sure I will miss days but I'm going to strive for more than once a month again. It helps me. And apparently I'm like the blog version of the Truman Show so I wouldn't want you guys to miss much.

My little Great Neck employers are starting this year off sick. T has been suffering with a cold for a week now. She's seriously pregnant and so she doesn't have many options for treatment other than to steam up the kitchen so she can breathe and the rest of us can look like we haven't bathed or brushed our hair in weeks. Today was her birthday, I won't give away her age, but let's just say that we recycled multiple number candles from other birthdays this year to use on her cake. I was tempted to make her one, but since last night was New Year's Eve and today is Lounge Around the House is Pajamas Day I didn't have it in me. E picked up an Oreo ice cream cake and we all pigged out around 3 this afternoon.

I stayed home from church this morning just to help T with a ladies' brunch to celebrate her day but she was so miserable she didn't invite anyone over. Instead, E made her several batches of fresh squeezed orange juice and hot tea and I did my best to keep the kids from killing themselves and each other from the comfort of the playroom daybed.

It was a long day.

The baby grew up over Christmas vacation and is now calling me "Timmy" which no one has done since my oldest nephew was this small. It melts my heart every time. Except when he's annoyed about something and then I'm just "Tim! Tim! Tiiiiiiiiiiim!"

The brat.

He's just getting over the cold that T still has; it tore through the entire household. Rafi and I had it ever so mildly. It destroyed my voice for a couple of days but I wasn't bedridden the way E was (but we all know that men are big crybabies about colds anyway so who knows how bad off he really was) and my nose didn't run nonstop for three day the way J's did.

That was a gross phase.

I was home for Christmas. But it wasn't white at all. I mean, we were there so I guess in that sense it was white, but outside was just mildly cold and damp and kind of like early Spring. Inside we had a Puerto Rican themed dinner, a portion of which was ordered from my authentic Puerto Rican aunt (favorite aunt shout out!) who sells her amazing food. My mom placed her order and my sister and I picked it up on our adventure into the city one day. Mom had it in her freezer and then forgot to bring it along on the two hour journey to my brother's house for Christmas weekend.

We got lucky; Mom was able to have it couriered to the halfway point between her house and my brother's and so she only had half as far to drive alone on Christmas Eve morning as punishment for forgetting. While she was gone I slept until 11.

Do you know how long it had been since I had done that?

Too long.

When I lived on my own and worked in retail I slept until an hour before my shift, no matter what time I worked. There were days that I didn't go in until 4 pm. I was never happier than when my schedule was random and unpredictable. But I guess part of getting a real job that pays a real salary is sucking it up and dealing with the real hours and so I get up every morning and do what I should and it was KILLING me.

We really need more BIG holidays.

But I'm settled back in here again with all my new electricity in the basement and my Christmas goodies. And a few Hanukkah goodies as well.

Last night I hit the town with one of my newest besties (kindred spirit shout out!) and we ran around to as many places as possible before the ball dropped. We had the New York experience with roasted nuts and a Pedicab ride. We even screamed simultaneously in a bar when Blake Shelton came on the TV.

I had the pleasure of good company while drinking and celebrating and laughing and admiring several pairs of really cute shoes. The only real downside to the whole night was the slew of American girls who insist that the whole world needs to see their rear ends and possibly even glimpse their lady parts. I am not opposed to risque hemlines. I am opposed to hemlines that reach JUST to the end of the butt cheek and therefore force the entire population of Penn Station to see private things that we would really prefer you kept private. I also don't need to see all of your boob except for the one-inch area covered by a flower petal (Taryn, this girl came out of the bathroom while I was waiting for you and I can't believe I forgot to tell you!). There are plenty of ways to look trashy and tacky that are fun without exposing yourself to the world. I have respect for the girls who cover it up but still look like $3 hookers.

They have a certain air of classiness to them.

Now, back to home. The kids have off from school tomorrow and then we can return to our previously scheduled programming. I cannot wait to get back on track. In the whirlwind of the holidays T bravely sought out a new cleaning lady, as none of the old ones ever come back (apparently return business is not something the state of New York is familiar with) and twice she had the same woman come and clean our bathrooms and do some other stuff that no one here wanted to do.

It's so awesome.

Except this past Friday the lady came and she seemed perfectly nice and she cleaned the bathrooms and then she hung out in the kitchen all day and I don't know what she was doing for the last two hours of her shift, but it was not cleaning related. I had all three kids to deal with and wasn't paying her much attention except to make sure she stopped and took lunch and sat down for a bit. I saw her get up after that and she looked like she was doing something. T was at work all day and she just came home in time to pick up the woman and drive her home.

Right before T got here E's mother showed up and then invited over her teenage granddaughters, the really rude girl and another girl who I don't think I've mentioned before but who seems slightly more aware that she's not the center of the universe. They got the kids all riled up while E's mom followed me around asking me what the kids had eaten that day. They woke up the baby and then E pulled up outside with a moving truck.

He just moved from his office in the city to a local office and he was emptying furniture our of his city space. He showed up with the truck and a pair of employees who were helping him move a couch. Now, I don't know how Mom E did it, but somehow she managed to be in two places, nagging to people to the brink of suicide at the same time.

I finally got away from her and had to track down Miss Snooty Pants (for the record, snobby is fun, snooty is unacceptable) who had literally running away from me with the baby who needed a bath.

And just so we're absolutely clear about how this day was going I feel I should mention that J had POOPED in his pants a couple of hours before (while the cleaning lady was there) and then had fallen asleep in his consequential time out.

He woke up to his insanely loud cousins and started crying.

So. Are you with me? Cleaning lady, poop, crying, crying, movers, mother-in-law, two obnoxious teenagers. Oh, and R, following me around with an angry pout because she cannot stand her teenage cousins any better than I can.

Cut to that night.

Shabbat dinner complete, kids in bed, catching our breath after everything and T finally gets a chance to look at her house. The entire kitchen was filthy. Not just a little messy; filthy. Nothing the cleaning lady had been instructed to do was done in that room.


I told T I hadn't been overseeing anything as I had our mother-in-law to deal with. As I finished my story about her E walks into the room and goes, "If you think that's annoying you should have been there when she 'helped' move the couch." She had peppered him with ridiculous questions as well.

No one had time to notice that the cleaning lady was hanging out. T was mad.

I am not. I can't say that it's right, but I can admit that if I had been in that lady's shoes and I had seen how chaotic this house was, I would have snuck in some down time too. Anyway, all I care about are the bathrooms. The hardcore kitchen scrubbing I'll do...eventually.

Which brings us back to here and now.

New year, new basement electricity, new semester of school.

It should all be very interesting.

I'll keep you posted...