Well, that's not gonna help.

I am in stage three of insomnia induced deterioration.

Stage one is feeling like you're in a fog all day.

Stage two is body aches and an overwhelming desire to hurt things.

Stage three is a combination of hallucination and despair.

The kids have been relatively well-behaved today. I made a few productive phone calls, cleaned something or something like that. I might have changed a load a laundry; I really don't know.

The worst part of my day was when I tried to nap this afternoon and it just didn't happen. Not even close.

The best part of my day was right now when I made a huge mug of double hot cocoa and drank it with no concern for the sugar, calorie or caffeine content. It was blissful.

In between, I received some fan mail.

HOW 'BOUT IT?!

This would have been my number one moment of the day if I had gotten any decent sleep recently.

Someone, a stranger, asked me about the comment I made yesterday (or something, my timeline is a little screwed up here) about making myself feel better by mixing it up with the kids. She thought that was sweet (haha -- me, sweet) wanted to know what my secret was.

I had a conversation with one of my sisters once not that long ago about enjoying your kids, or any kids really. I get that there are people who are just not kid people, but I am hoping against hope that none of them are parents.

But if you are a parent or a caregiver, the secret to enjoying your kids is to just enjoy them. I don't do it all the time. I have had plenty of PMS days where instead of enjoying the kids or trying to play with them to lift my mood I just yell at them to go away and hide behind my book and a five pound block of fudge.

But more often than not, I just acknowledge consciously that if I want to feel better at all, about anything, whether it be an actual problem or PMS related, I need to keep the kids happy. Keeping them happy will keep me happy.

And then the added bonus is that kid giggles are just the best sound ever.

So that's the big secret.

My other big secret is that I have been sneaking R and J's Hershey kisses brought home from a birthday party.

DON'T TELL THEM.

And my other OTHER big secret is that I have been buying regular Cheerios and putting honey and almond milk on them. It's delicious.

Ok, that's not a real secret, but I'm not very secretive. Hopefully, you have figured that out by now.

Now, it's time to go stalk three or four of my possible future husbands on Facebook and then figure out a way to fall asleep.