Diamonds.

As I sit here and ignore the baby screaming from his crib for someone to let him out of bed I think fondly of this afternoon, when he tried this crap with me and it lasted all of five seconds.

I went back into his room and said, "It's Monday, kid. Mommy's at work. Lay down and go to sleep." And he did.

But Mommy is home now and he knows it and he is playing hardball tonight. Still, she's staying strong and no one is going back up there. He's a MONSTER.

He doesn't cry in a tone that makes you feel bad for him. He screams angrily and curses us all for defying his orders.

But he was good all day.

Yesterday E and T had to go visit the building they own in the city for some emergency or another (I try not to listen) and so instead of being able to go to church, I was needed to entertain the kids for a large chunk of the day.

T asked very hesitantly if I wanted to take them somewhere in the city or stay home. I thought long and hard and opted for an excursion in the city.

I took the munchkins to the Museum of Natural Lies and Deceit (History) because J wanted to see the dinosaurs. It was really fun to walk through the displays and use my teacher voice very loudly to say, "Yes, that's a T-Rex but that's not what he really looked like. See this chart here? This is where the 'scientists' were forced to admit their shortcomings. See, the green part is the bones they actually found and the rest of it is all made up. See? It's fake. Just like the stories we tell at dinner time. It's as made up as R's drawing of me as a stick figure. I wish I looked like a stick figure and the 'scientists' wish they knew what dinosaurs looked like. But they don't. So they made it up."

J: "Ohhhh..."

R: "That's what my Morah (teacher) said too."

I am loving this.

I got a few strange looks from passers-by but one family stopped and listened and then smiled and agreed. The father looked at his son and then me and then pointed to the chart I had just shown my kids and said, "Huh, isn't that interesting?"

When we left they were still standing there looking confused and betrayed.

And for you evolutionists who still read my blog, more than half of the dinosaur skeletons used to "prove" evolution are fake. Made up. Bogus. Imaginary. There's an entire species drawn from a claw. A CLAW.

A CLAW!

It really gets me.

Anyway, that's what we did yesterday. We walked through the African animal rooms and the kids ate it up. When we left they called goodbye to Africa and J said he can't wait to go there.

I can't wait to take them.

After we left the museum we went to lunch and on the way home everybody fell asleep. Monkey held out the longest, using every ounce of energy he had left to sing and fight sleep until finally his body won out and he drooled a puddle all over his coat.

At home the other two woke up refreshed and were golden for the rest of the day.

Monkey didn't wake up.

Well, he did. But it sounded like a dying cat fighting a raccoon and then we sent him up to T who was napping and he went back to sleep and slept right through the night.

Today, he was pleasant for the first time in a week. He ate his breakfast without argument. He played. He sang. His nose is unstoppably runny but he wasn't bothered by it. He ate his lunch, he went to bed. He got up he played.

While I was changing his diaper after his nap he was showing off how he knows all the letters on my shirt (he knows all the letters -- I've made him into a genius. Toot toot!) he thought he would show off something else too. He pointed at the Camp Susque logo (Hail dear old Susque!) on my shirt and went, "Triangle."

I was floored. When I recovered I asked him what else he knew to which he replied, "Grandma!" Only in Farsi, and I don't know how to spell that.

But I am picking up a bit more Farsi. Still not enough to say anything with any kind of confidence, but I understand quite a bit. It's just like Spanish. I'm starting to think I don't have the brain capacity to learn another language. Rosetta Stone, here I come.

After dinner tonight I went to hang out in the playroom with all three kids and they asked me about a game I had forgotten I even invented.

You know how awesome it is when someone plays with your hair?

And you know how when you ask a kid to do something flat out their gut reaction is to not do it?

So right after I got here I tried a new game. My nieces will always play with my hair when I ask them to. Eva has a wonderful barley (beauty) parlor in her living room and I have gone there many times to have my hair done.

R will occasionally play salon but her specialty is tearing my hair out by the root so I try to avoid it most of the time.

So one afternoon I told them I hid a diamond in my hair.

R lit up right away and said, "A sparkly one?"

I said yes, but it's pretend.

It didn't matter, she heard diamond. She would do anything now. I sat on the floor and let them search for it.

Tonight, it was actually J who looked at me and said, "Do you still have a diamond in your hair?"

I had to think for a minute and then I remembered.

"I don't know. I haven't looked for it in a long time. Do you want to check?"

This time R was more skeptical.

"Is there really a diamond in your hair?"

"No."

"Let me see!"

Sweet. Free head massage!