Whoa mama.
Where the heck did today come from?
I tried to weasel out of it but E and T had to go into the city at noon and there was just no way I could get back from church in time to fulfill my obligations so I just had to suck it up and do what I had already agreed to.
J hasn't had a real meal in 48 hours now.
R arrived in the kitchen first this morning, where I was already having tea. I had a pretty similar night to the one before but still, I am feeling improvement from day to day. We made pancakes again and when J joined us I didn't even offer him any.
He ate a tiny bowl of Cheerios and then I cut him off and chased him out of the kitchen.
E and T headed out promptly at 12:20 and there I was. Alone with my munchkins.
It would have, could have been a fine day.
But for some odd reason, E and T thought it best to call everyone they are related to and let them know the kids were home today and that they were welcome to come over and visit.
On the way out the door E chuckled, "My mom is going to come over and talk to you about playing bridge. And T's mom will be here right after that to talk to you about boys. What are you wearing? You look like Madonna in the 80s. Have fun!"
T groaned she was sorry and they were gone.
Are they trying to torture me? Is this torture?!
I put Monkey to bed, fed R lunch, attempted to feed J something, made him cry instead and put him on the living room couch for a nap. He was asleep instantly.
Mom E showed up while the kids were asleep and I gloated inside. She said hi to R and headed out again.
T's mom called to say she would come late in the day, which was fine. I love her visits and she can entertain all three kids while I make dinner so I was looking forward to that.
Then all of a sudden all three kids were awake and E's sister was calling to come collect R for an ice cream date and T's mom showed up and then E's mom showed up and dinner was cooking but no one would leave me alone and the questions, they just kept asking questions.
At some point someone fed Monkey and I got J to eat some chicken and rice and crackers.
Mom E spent the entire evening telling me to never give him juice again and to tell T to stop buying it, so I, aggravated and overwhelmed, spent the entire evening telling her T doesn't buy it or like when the kids have it and that maybe she should tell her son, who drinks it every morning, to stop bringing it into the house.
And then after I got that out there I had to also explain that as pointless and stupid as juice is, it doesn't actually cause stomach flus.
Monkey seems to have picked up a touch of it but I swear that kid doesn't puke unless it benefits him so it's all coming out his other end in potent form.
E's sister got home with R and thankfully, was present when the two mothers started crowing about the rice not being done enough. She tasted it and told them it was fine and to pipe down and somehow I made it through the next hour without offending anybody.
FINALLY, they started to head out and as they did I got the kiddies ready for bed, gave R her dinner-after-dessert and herded them all upstairs.
Bed time ran smoothly, with me rushing everybody around all at the same time because I really had to pee.
At long last, I was free of them all. All the in-laws and extended family, all the kids and their noise and sickness and snot and crying and chaos.
I couldn't remember a time I had been that relieved to have the day be over. I don't think I ever have. I had a stare down with the dirty dishes and they won so I had to wash them.
I ate my dinner as I cleaned up because there hadn't been a moment to sit down earlier. These women who came to help me through the day made my day a million times harder. It was like having six kids and the oldest three were the worst behaved.
At three points I nearly tore out my hair but then I remembered how pretty it is and that none of this was its fault.
When the rice incident occurred it took me a moment to realize my cooking was under attack and as I stood there at the stove while the bitties tasted it and E's sister quipped half in Farsi and half in English that it was done I finally figured out how my giant ego serves me in daily life.
I think it's the only reason I survived today.
Now I am stalling upstairs in order to be present when E and T get home so I can tell them I never, ever, under any circumstances, EVER want to take on three Persian women at the same time, without backup, again. Ever. EVER.
EEEVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRRRRR.
Ok. I feel better now. Let's just write that clause into my contract and...
I am recovered.
No comments:
Post a Comment