Freaking out.

Yesterday, I slept in.

I was off for reasons I will get into later, but the most wonderful thing was sleeping in. I slept and slept and slept until after ten, which is still pretty early for me, but I knew that if I didn't get up and run some errands, they would never get done.

It turns out half of them didn't anyway.

It was after 11 when I was finally ready to go out. I ran into T upstairs, who was just getting off the phone with the Great Neck Police Department. Intrigued, I went from not-rushed to just plain slow and got comfortable to have a listen.

Someone had just rung the bell, a man with not visible vehicle and no uniform. We weren't expecting anyone. She didn't open the door, but called to him from the dining room window, which isn't exactly right next to the door and probably weirded him out a little. It was a stroke of genius on her part.

He said he was a realtor and had some questions.

The fool. She is a realtor and would recognize legitimate questions.

He started asking her personal questions, about herself and not the house at all, and so she "passed" on the first two and then on the third told him she was uncomfortable with his survey and he turned tail and fled.

So she called the cops.

She asked me if I would have and I responded by showing her how many local police department phone numbers are stored in my phone. All of them, from every town I have lived in since middle school.

I've called the cops on suspicious people, annoying people, loud people, mean people, a few animals and once when I needed a ride home from work and they said no.

"Yes," I told her, "That is very suspicious and I would have done the same thing. I might have even done it while he was still asking me questions."

I was planning to walk to town because it was so nice out and T was still nervous so I filled her in on my awesome self-defense skilz and headed out.

I wasn't mugged or questioned or anything, and I hit the stores without ever once looking at my list. The most important thing on it was ***NOT SHOES*** which I stuck to, but I also forgot to get two-thirds of the stuff actually on it.

At some point I accidentally boarded a train to the city and accidentally spent two hours there accidentally buying three dollar tank tops at the greatest outlet in the universe.

By the time I got back to Great Neck, I was an hour behind my planned schedule.

I had taken Tuesday off for the one-night only live airing of the Kirk Cameron movie, Monumental. A group from church was going and I had texted Taryn to put together a plan to meet up with her.

I had no idea what the name of the theater was and I have been ever so slow about getting the numbers of well, anyone but Taryn, and so when she didn't answer it dawned on me that I might not be going after all.

Knowing my dear Taryn, my first guess was that she had lost her phone (<3) which turned out to be accurate. But without having that actually confirmed it left me with a lot of room to wonder about other, non-realistic scenarios.

For two hours I text-whined about it and then I vowed to get the numbers of someone else from church and to find out where functions were being held from then on, and then I went across the street from the coffee shop to the bar.

My folly was going to require a stronger band aid than the coffee shop could offer.

No one was at the bar yet, being that it was 7 on a Tuesday, so I took a seat in front of Jeopardy and the awesome bartender, the awesome hostess and I bonded over three rounds of impossible questions. I think I got two or three right and so did the bartender.

We were all awesome for Wheel of Fortune and another lady a few years older than me joined us in time for the bonus round.

Two martinis in someone came up behind me and spoke to me and I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Turns out it was a comedian, asking me if I was going to the comedy show. I was now, so I ordered another drink and headed off to a free show. My friend from the bar came too and we sat together in the back row of two rows.

That's right, two. There were two rows and behind that two tables. That's it. I don't even know why they had a mic hooked up because we were sitting less than three feet from the performers, but they did.

The first two comedians kept checking their phones and dropping f bombs, so I zoned out a little bit, but then the last few were hilarious. Before the show I entered a raffle and after the show, I won so YAY.

I headed home much earlier than I thought and so today I wasn't overly tired but my throat is getting sore again.

I spent the day drinking tea and honey and lemon and ginger and opening the cabinet to eye the DayQuil. I didn't take any, but I realize I have a problem.

In between my self-diagnosis I built a dresser.

BUILT A DRESSER.

I am so awesome.

I love when I build stuff with no help at all and the only thing better than completing my project was comparing it to the one E built last month and mine is better. His drawers stick and mine are peeerrrrrfect.

I worked on it this morning before I put Monkey down and he ran around me while I worked chanting, "Baby! Baby! Baby!"

I finished it up this afternoon while he slept and R was home. We also made candy and picked J up from a birthday party. I am like superwoman. Only better.

I crashed around dinner time.

The kids all ate super well and then had dessert while I cleaned up. I bathed them and then I just dropped. That was it for me. T's mom stopped by and entertained them for a bit and then I mentally checked out and threw myself 100% into Angry Birds.

E and T got back from the city in time to take over bed time.

T is dilating and the baby has dropped and assumed the position, but that is all the progress so far. We could potentially have two more weeks ahead of us but her contractions are leading everyone to think otherwise.

For my part, I really, really, really hope she has this baby right after my driver's test but before Easter, so that I can go away for Easter weekend without wondering if she went into labor without me there.

The only problem with my plan for her, is that my driver's test isn't scheduled and I am waiting for residential paperwork from the post office and I don't know if it's ever coming and I am starting to worry that this isn't all going to fall into place as perfectly as I had thought.

Color me anxious.