Facebook may have already informed you that I am the proud nanny to another little boy. He's stinking cute and he has big fat lips like Monkey and I love him.
T is doing well. Her labor was pretty rough and the baby wasn't born until just before or after midnight, making me not sure which day his birthday is. Monkey turns two on Thursday, so these two boys are going to share a lot of attention in the future. I can't wait to see how much that annoys Monkey.
New Baby is still without name. Some options are on the table, my personal favorite being Kimmy Jr, but so far no one else is a fan. The kids thought Lilo would be good if it had been a girl and then we would call Monkey Stitch, since he is just as destructive as the movie alien and then we'd have Lilo and Stitch.
But it was a boy, so I guess that's out.
Last night I stayed up entirely too late watching Anchorman for the billionth time and folding teeny tiny baby laundry.
I hit the hay around one this morning and put the monitor near my bed just in case.
Normally I hear E or T coming in at night and I turn the monitor off so that I don't have to hear the kids anymore. I was so tired and E didn't come in until four, so I slept right through his entrance and this morning I had the pure joy of listening to J leap out of bed and stomp around.
I wasn't sure if E was home or not, so I couldn't in good conscience turn off the monitor. I groaned a little, ok a lot, and tried to sleep again.
I heard what I thought was a jungle stampede go down the stairs above me and into the kitchen. Turns out it was just J, refilling his water bottle that he keeps in his room. He stomped right into the mud room, which is directly over my bed, and in my state of half-sleep I heard him drop something.
It was annoying but it was soon over and he trotted back upstairs.
Again, I tried to find sleep. I was almost there, I was so happy, when I felt something tugging ever so subtly at my covers. I wondered if Willie had braved crossing the basement to come beg to be let out, but he NEVER does that, either come in the basement or beg to be let out. He'd pee on the floor before waking someone up.
He's very shy.
As soon as my mind acknowledged that it couldn't be him I felt my heart leap in panic.
WHAT THE HECK WAS IT?
I rolled over and sat up so fast I startled myself. I was expecting to catch a mouse or the mother of all mutant spiders on my blanket. Instead I found water.
Water dripping from the ceiling and all over me, my teddy bear and my slippers beside the bed. I know this because when I tried to put them on and slip out of bed they were soaked.
Completely grossed out and also sorely annoyed since it was still just after six, I found my back up slippers and turned on the light.
The water was dripping ever-so-slowly from the rafters and I had no idea why.
And then I remembered the chaos in the mudroom above that couldn't have taken place more than fifteen minutes before.
I put a sweatshirt on and went upstairs in standard, predawn bitterness.
There was a water spill in the mudroom, where the water cooler is kept. J must have dropped an entire bottle of water right on the seam between the floor and the cabinet, the only place in the mudroom that would leak through the floor. Conveniently, it is also located right over the side of my bed that I actually sleep on.
Conveniently.
I put towels on it and went to sleep on the playroom couch until 7:30.
The rest of the morning went like this:
"Awwww he's so cute! Monkey, eat! Do you want to go out? Then eat! J get your shoes on! Come on, R we're going to miss the bus. Monkey eat! Do you want to go out? Then you have to eat? Did you put your shoes on? Oh my gosh look at his fat little lips! They're adorable. T needs her charger in that bag. R, now, now! We are going to miss the bus! No, J you can't come, you didn't put your shoes on! Monkey EAT!"
At some point we made it to R's bus, got J properly shod and out the door and no one is sure if or what the baby ate. But he's with E's mom today, his favorite person in the whole world, so he's happy.
I am attempting to acquire the paper work needed to get to the DMV and get licensed today, which is the only reason E didn't want me to just stay home today. He's tired and overwhelmed so I told him to stop procreating now before he loses his mind completely.
I made several phone calls from the privacy of the coffee shop and was able to find out one thing.
The Whitehall police department is full of rude people.
I regret ever having crossed them, partly because it was wrong to break a traffic law in their jurisdiction, but mostly because now I have to talk to them and they are just so snippy!
New York isn't making any better of an impression. The post office is still being slow and the DMV is very insistent that one proof of ID is not enough. Are that many people trying to get licensed in states they don't reside that this two proofs of residency is such a big deal?
I guess so.
What I've learned in all this is that I should have started the paperwork a year ago, instead of nine months ago, and maybe it would have been done by now.
And that I have no desire to reside in ANY state for very long. At least not until the DMVs are dissolved and replaced with non government, franchised licensing centers run by small town business owners instead of crotchety old Communist women.
I can dream, can't I?
No comments:
Post a Comment