My alarm went off at seven this morning, leaving me time to get ready for the day, pack my bag and head off to breakfast.
Somehow I got late, panicky late, and I forgot my camera and my computer and I ran out to the taxi, missed breakfast and got on the train. I was trying really hard to will my computer and my camera to come to me on the weird, blurry train when I got news that my childhood neighbor had died. It was odd, because I hadn’t answered my phone and yet I was on it and my mom was telling me about his passing.
Then R said, “Kimmy!” into my left ear and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.
The good news was my neighbor’s life had been spared, but the bad news was that after the alarm ringing at seven, I had fallen back to sleep and dreamt about getting ready.
It was 7:30 and my train was pulling out of the station in fourteen minutes.
“Go upstairs!” I hissed at R, who knows better than to come in my room, ever, at all, without my permission and before I am up. We haven’t had this problem in a long, long, long time.
She had said something else to me, I think about a circus, but I can’t be sure because that was when I still thought my neighbor was dead and I was dream-grieving. I also tend to be delirious in that state. I once looked at my mom when she tried to wake me one morning and my eyes saw her in a formal gown, all dressed to go out.
“Why are you so dressed up?” I snapped at her, because snapping is all I can muster before nine.
“I’m not.” She had said, looking at me like I was crazy. Then I blinked and her turtle neck and jeans came into focus and I was so very confused.
R intelligently ran away without another word and I leapt out of my new mosquito netting and ran upstairs to brush my teeth.
I had picked out an outfit the night before but I hadn’t tried it on, so I had to swap tops three or four times before I got it right. I hopped around trying to put shoes on, remembered to pack my camera and my computer and at the last minute pulled my headphones and iPod from one purse and dropped them into today’s bag.
I called a cab, confident that even though I hadn’t done my hair or makeup, I was ready to go. I grimaced at the horrible patch of bug bites that I am beginning to think aren’t bug bites on my neck and wished I could cover them up.
They just materialized there one day, and so did two on my hip and one on my lower leg. They all look the same and feel the same and itch like crazy and they all happened the day I rearranged my room and crossed paths with armies of tiny, angry spiders. I chocked it up to their doing and then put up my net and no new ones appeared.
But then today, when I finally did make it to my brother’s, the first thing he said to me was hi and then, “Is that poison ivy?”
While I still don’t think it’s poison ivy, because I haven’t been in the wild for like, weeks, I hadn’t considered that it might be a rash of some sort. Of course after that I Googled and then spent ten minutes when I got home checking for allergens, mold and bed bugs. I can’t find any, so I don’t know what to think.
But these “bites” have been itchy and unchanged for about four days now.
Send help.
Anyway, I missed my train.
I caught the next one, which would put me in Penn Station with ten minutes to get over to my next train. Confident that I could do it if I ran, I took a seat on the LIRR train and pulled out my headphones. I put them on, sat back and dreamed of the day when train schedules accommodate me and my life and I don’t have to get up so early to see my friends and family.
About ten minutes later I realized that my headphones weren’t connected to anything, and that when I pulled them out of that other purse they must have disconnected from the iPod because it was not in my bag.
I made it to Penn, ran over to Transit, got my ticket and stood there waiting for my track announcement.
Instead, my train was put on stand by and then a big, bold DELAYED.
The lady doing announcements said they were unloading cargo and they would call us when they felt like it. Maybe not verbatim, but that was the tone.
Fifteen minutes after departing time, we boarded and I wondered if this meant I was going to miss my connection to Hackettstown. I tried really hard in that moment to not curse NJ Transit in my head but my head was still so morning-foggy that I don’t even know if I was successful.
I pictured my day being ruined, because the next connection put me there in the late afternoon and just wasn’t worth it, and me returning home twenty dollars lighter and with nothing to show for it.
My thoughts were broken by a new announcer saying the connecting trains were being held until our arrival.
Hallelujah.
I got out my computer to do some work.
I transferred uneventfully and as I was exiting my last train in Hack, I looked up to see my brother and his tiny son on the train, waving hello. It was the brightest greeting I ever got from little Sammy. He usually takes longer to warm up to me.
He made my day a thousand more times, giving me kissies and showing me his toys and letting me hold him. I snapped a few quick photos of their little family while we walked in the park and then we went back to their house to eat again.
And drink a little.
Mark, my one-time travel companion to Africa, had scored some cigars that were exactly the kind we bought in Africa, so he came for dinner and then we sat around puffing smoke and watching John’s stupid dog and Mark’s stupid dog chase each other around the yard.
Coming home was less frustrating than going in, because I didn’t dream that I was doing it or that any harm had come to anyone I know and love. But I still missed a train and hung out a little longer in order to catch the next one.
I got home an hour later than intended, and I should be going to bed now, but I “accidentally” drank a cup of coffee while waiting for that last train and now my brain is on overdrive.
I got home to Willie the idiot barking at me and I thought, I have really been around too many dogs today.
Then I thought twenty other things because of that overdrive thing I mentioned and now I am sitting on my bed, wondering how in the world I am going to function tomorrow.
It will probably involve more coffee.
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