Seriously, why?

I would like to know a few things.

Firstly, why the green cleaning towel that I have put into the wash with white towels on numerous occasions and doused in pure, undiluted bleach continues to come out perfectly green while my dark-colored shirts can't seem to get through one wash without being splattered in bleach marks. Why? Why? WHY?

And how come, when it's time to go outside, Monkey can run up the stairs at the speed of light but for any other reason at all, he drags his feet and I have to drag him by an arm? Can anyone explain this?

I would also like to know why hot dogs are still being counted as nutrition? Why is it that dogs can step out into the rain near the door for a quick pee and come back smelling like they rolled in fresh fertilizer? And what makes Willie think it's ok to pee on the porch?

How did all the floors get this dirty at the same time when I wash them on different days? And why exactly is one load of laundry filling the cess pool trap today and how am I supposed to accomplish anything?

This is starting to sound whiny.

Let me change my tone.

What makes cilantro so unbelievably delicious and is there anything we should not add it to? Also, basil, cumin, oregano and tumeric. Man, I'm hungry.

What kind soul decided to revamp our pool this year with less chlorine and more all-natural goodness that doesn't make me itchy? Where can I find them? How can I ever thank them?

And happy was the day the garbage man hauled away my mold-ridden rug. Hallelujah. Clear sinuses. I'm so in love with my room I could slack off at work and just hang out down here all...oh.

The kids are painting nearby. Another question: When does the part of a person that makes them make up songs while they do things die? It's so sad. I know so few adults who have the happy spirit to just sing random thoughts and actions like some poorly-scripted Disney musical. And the ones who I know who still do it are mostly people I am related to. Lighten up, you serious adults. Sing a little. It's hilarious.

J came down the stairs this morning chanting "It's a good, good day! It's a great day!" with Monkey on his tail singing, "Socks stay on! Socks stay on!" (A little mantra I've tattooed on his brain to keep his little monkey feet clean)

And it is a good, great day and no one is wearing socks. How did that get by me?

And how can this baby continue to get cuter and cuter each day when I thought each time that he was the cutest little thing in the world? And what makes him think he can just talk and coo and smile all day while I am supposed to be washing his bottles. Doesn't he want to eat?

I want to eat. You shouldn't blog when you're hungry. Or shop. Unless it's for shoes. There's never a bad time for that.

Ooo shoes. Ok, my train of thought derailed a few sentences ago. Lunch time.