The iPhone makes calls too?

So. Many. Phone calls.

And here I thought all this phone was good for was Facebook and Scrabble.

Remember back in February when I almost died?

Well, I did.

Ok, I had strep and I caved and went to the doctor for strong and wonderful medicine. I went to an Emergency Care clinic in the Poconos and since I don’t have insurance I paid for everything right there that night.

Well, now they’re billing me for things I didn’t even know where happening and it is not fun. Only, first they billed my mother and then they billed her again. Somehow our files have been crossed and all of this nonsense hurts my head.

So, I had to call the billing center today and get the bill straightened out. And then I had to call the actual clinic to find out what the bill was even for. And then I had to call the first lady back.

I spent a lot of time on this, all while pushing Monkey around in his stroller, around and around the block waiting for the playground to open the gate. They never did.

It was awful.

To cheer myself up, I finally opened the boxes of space saver bags that I had purchased awhile back.
It worked.

I was cheerful and sweaty and my room got so clean. I spent even more time on the phone after that, but for better reasons. My mom, my sister, my friend.

J had a play date this afternoon. I’m almost positive that his little friend is terrified of me because I boss him around the same way I boss my guys around, but he’s cute and he listens well so I don’t know what he’s so scared of.

At dinner time, the most wonderful thing happened.

T remembered that R had a dinner time birthday party. She decided to take all three kids and feed them there. I had the baby and a clean house to enjoy. I fed Tiny Tot and put him in his swing and talked on the phone with another sister. The whole time I was on the phone no one pulled on my clothes or tried to crawl into my lap or yelled that they had pooped and needed my assistance.

It was so nice.

I made myself a giant salad, which is all I haven’t eaten in three days because my gosh my clothes are getting tight again.

I ate without having to remind anyone to take bites.

And then I napped.

E got home and eventually so did everyone else.

I left E to bed time alone while T went out again for an orientation at R’s new school. I turned on the TV for a bit and that movie, Speed came on. For several weeks in third grade I thought Keanu Reeves was the most beautiful male specimen I had ever scene. Once, at a sleepover, me and two friends spent the night watching that movie repeatedly and fighting over who got to kiss the screen when his face appeared. Jessica G, if you’re reading this, you can have him.

Now when I see his face all I think of is Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures and I just can’t stop laughing. Also, who wrote the script for that movie? It was awful.

Anyway, once the house was quiet I was nice and I fed the baby before sticking E with him so I could finish what I had started in my room.

With all my extra space I could finally put away some things that have been lying out since December and then I even put all my laundry away.

My rule is that if I can’t remember when the last time is I changed the sheets that it’s time to change the sheets but I got to that last and I was so tired at the end of it and another phone call with a friend, that I thought of something brilliant. Something I intend to do again and again.

I put clean sheets over the old ones.

Now I will have a full load of sheets come laundry time. And I get to maintain incredibly high levels of both laziness and cleverness.

Go me.