Who taught you how to drive?

I've never been all that squeamish about driving. I have had exactly one bad car accident and I was young and it did shake me up quite badly. Sometimes I get nervous when I'm behind the wheel and I have to merge on the highway and no one will let me in or when I'm turning left out of the Lehigh Street Wawa, but on a regular basis I'm pretty calm in the car.

And I have been in the car with some very bad drivers.

I've been friends with tail-gaters, speeders, slow pokes, oblivious idiots, daredevils and even drunks. I know people who don't slow down when monsoon rains are falling because their pride is so twisted as to convince them that they don't need to. I have encountered several so-called Pennsylvanians who don't know that when you are driving in three inches of snow on a down hill you NEVER brake.

And I watch intently from the passenger seat to see what kind of damage they're going to do to the car and possibly our bodies, but I don't get the kind of heart-racing, sweat-inducing, foot-trying-to-brake-in-the-back-seat anxiety attacks that I have seen my mother have while my brothers were behind the wheel.

The most anxious I have ever been in a car was my first time in Africa, when I first experienced the game "Chicken" in its most pure form. There aren't many traffic signs in Uganda and none of the ones that exist refer to your actual driving habits. It's sort of a free-for-all when it comes to passing and unless you live there, your guess on the speed limit is as good as mine.

When you're sharing the road with cars, vans, trucks, even bigger trucks, bicycles, motorcycles, motorcycles with families of five on them, pedestrians, cows, goats and small children there are bound to be a few adrenaline rushes at work.

But here in the States with all of our guard rails and painted lanes and traffic signals and laws I have never been too antsy about being safe in a car.

My dad used to take the family station wagon up to 100 MPH just to make my mom mad. And my brother insisted that you should accelerate when going around a curve. These kinds of things thicken your skin.

I especially won't react if we're going under 30 MPH.

While traveling with a roommate one night in her father's big cargo van (the stalker van) we skidded down a small snow-covered hill. Our backseat passengers gasped and stopped breathing. In the front seat, we kept eating our Frosty's and french fries.

I just don't see how it's worth it to get worked up over the idiot scraping alongside your car in a narrow turning lane. It's not. Unless you're riding on the outside of the car and are being slowly squished to death, that kind of accident is typically not dangerous to your personal well-being. So calm down.

Speed changes things, of course.

There's still a degree of reason in my head when all thirty cars ahead of me have stopped and my driver is just slamming on the brakes. I'm seat-belted and I can brace myself and I don't think many people have died in fender benders.

It's the accidents at freeway speeds that freak me out.

I get nervous when I'm in a shaky old minivan, as I was today, with a driver who is blatant about the fact that she can't see, as she was today, and is squinting to see what's in front of her (today) while yelling at the six kids in the back seat (today), speeding (today), missing her exit (today) and cutting off the guy in the right lane as the pick up truck in front of us slows to a stop...

Just like today.

That was scary.

And I didn't say anything and I'm not a compulsive gasper (Steph <3) but I did watch with dropped jaw in complete astonishment at the terrible driving skills being exhibited.

I am often in awe that people like this are even alive to continue to drive this badly.

Perhaps, as an unlicensed adult, I should stop judging, but all that was going through my mind the second time we ran a red light and the third time we were stopped at a green one was, "WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE?????"

Or maybe, more importantly, "WHY DON'T WE RE-TEST PEOPLE EVERY TEN YEARS??????"

I fail to see why it is necessary for fisherman to apply for a new trout license every year and yet anybody can pass a little driving test at the age of 16 and still be riding that wave of credibility at the age of 80.

It just doesn't make sense.

It wasn't until we forcibly merged from two lanes to one at 70 MPH with an SUV directly at our side that I got concerned and texted my mother.

I wanted her to know that if I stopped answering her calls at that point it was because her college friend is an "I'm going to do whatever I want and hope for the best" driver.

And all I can say is, I am an advocate of seatbelts on the highways and I believe the only reason the cop to our right didn't pull us over was because he was also completely in shock at how extremely bad her driving was.