Kimmy don't play that.

Sunday was calm and pleasant, in keeping with Saturday's theme.

We went to church and then had lunch with friends and then visited another friend.

Today was when it got serious.

We got up this morning and went to the store to finish putting together some gifts for the kids we would be visiting. You might remember from last year's posts, that our whole reasons for being acquainted with this corner of Florida was these six kids in the custody of their cancer-patient grandmother.

We got their gifts wrapped up and headed over and dove right into the chaos.

Six hours later, we had been to the bowling, arcade and brought home pizza.

The theme of today is "loud and disorderly."

The kids liked bowling but with seven people playing and their tiny attention spans, we had a hard time getting everyone to take their turns. We struggled through one game and I cancelled the second one that we had paid for and sent them all to the arcade. The two eldest went to play laser tag, which they did last year and loved. One of them was whining about having to wear shoes and so he didn't seem to be enjoying himself as much as he could.

The kids all ran around the arcade, playing games and winning various prizes and tickets. When it was all through, the two little boys had run out of money in a manner that was unsatisfactory to both and one was crying about not winning a prize and one was LIVID about his money being gone.

Mom and I decided to go win some more tickets in order to get the kids some prizes and calm everyone down. But, we only appeased one child.

The other one, who is lucky he's my favorite, had a total and complete meltdown.

Now, I'm not the type to back down from a screaming kid. I'm not like those moms/nannies you see getting all worried about people looking at them when their kid makes noise in public. Not. At. All.

But, I guess, no one told this kid that, because he ran away from me and gave me a dirty look so I marched right after him and told him his brother was going to get all of the prizes. That made him slow down and he hesitated and I grabbed him.

And then.

And THEN.

He screamed. At the top of lungs, legs kicking, arms flailing, full-fledged tantrum right in the bowling alley.

It was on.

I took him by the arm but he yanked away and dropped himself onto the floor. I went all ghetto and was like, "Hold my purse" and then I man-handled that boy in the tightest grip I could manage and hauled him back to his caretaker, depositing him in his chair and washing my hands of the whole tantrum with a quick explanation about what was happening.

He calmed down while we went and picked his prize for him, to be secretly handed to his mother and received at a later time.

We're only here one day, so I can't just leave without giving the kid his prize.

There was no more drama for the rest of our time with them, but on the way home in the AVENGER, we did get pulled over.

We prepped our excuses; being from Ontario (our rental plates say so), we thought we had some leniency this week. Also, Mom has been having various troubles with the controls in the unfamiliar car.

Turns out that's all it was; we had been driving with no headlights. The cop was really nice and just made sure we figured out how to work them and then told us to be safe and have a good night.

So we did.

Tomorrow, we hit the beach! Woohoo!

Far away in Florida.

Last year, my mom was living in Florida with an old friend of hers who has custody of her six grandchildren. The woman also has cancer and is struggling pretty hard to keep it together.

I visited for a week last summer, to help with the kids while my mom flew back north to see Hannah off to Rwanda.

This year, Mom is home and settled in a new house, Hannah is stateside and we are visiting Florida to keep up with all the kids and several cousins who reside down here for some strange, unknown reason.

I worked the breakfast shift at home yesterday morning, just to give T confidence that she would be ok without me. She and E are very agreeable to giving me time off right up until it's time for me to leave. Then they go into panic mode and my greeting yesterday morning from T was, "Good morning, traitor."

I told her where things were around the kitchen, drew on a full week's supply of brown paper bags for R's school snacks, put away one last load of laundry for the kids and headed off to the train.

She texted me a couple of hours later to ask me where the balsamic vinegar was.

So, I spent my day in train stations and then at the airport, napping while waiting for Mom to arrive. My brother drove her in from his area, where she left her car. His bat-out-of-hell driving techniques had Mom pretty frazzled, but she made it to the airport in one piece and we headed off to security.

We both got sent through the magical body scanner and then patted down afterward. And the several chargers and batteries that I had in my backpack for my phone, computer and camera caught the eye of the security guard and we had to wait there a few extra minutes while they checked them for explosives.

They searched my backpack, which seems to be my norm. I ALWAYS get randomly selected. I'm very suspicious looking.

After take off I got SO BORED that I nearly died. It was impossible to nap and United Airlines charges eight dollars to watch TV. BOOOOOOOOOOOO. After suffering for a while, we broke out Skip-Bo and played right up until landing. We were descending before we finished (and I won, duh) and it got pretty scary and intense.

The landing was atrocious. A couple of years ago, flying back from Uganda with a friend, I witnessed the single best airplane landing in the entire world and nothing will ever live up to it. And this certainly didn't.

We went down to baggage claim and I found my bag, missing the pin I had put on it to identify it and soaked. It took Mom a while longer and then she found hers.

We went over to claim the car we had reserved from Avis and had a million problems. We ended up trying two other companies before Alamo finally gave us a car. Hallelujah.

So, here we are in my cousin's house, soaking up some Florida thunderstorms and just generally relaxing. I am so relieved that it's rainy because that means no one will expect me to go outside in the horrible humidity and heat. We can just sit and enjoy the AC like normal, civilized people.

Tomorrow we'll be visiting Mom's church from when she lived here and then we're off to start the week, visiting the kids and other cousins. You might not hear from me.

Hold your breath!

Oh, just my two cents.

I need to rant about something completely unrelated to nannying, but it's my blog so I'll do what I want. And you can just deal with it.

Last night was utterly horrible. E and T didn't get back until one in the morning, after waiting out the rain at a building they own in the city that sprang leaks during that wonderful downpour. As strange and damaging as yesterday's weather was, I loved it. I had the windows open and the wind coming through the house was amazing.

Anyway, I got to enjoy it for an extra three hours while I waited for them to come back. I didn't want to go to bed, because once I am asleep, I don't hear much and J had already been up crying once by 11 o'clock. All the kids are on the verge of a cold and I didn't want to be running up and down two flights of stairs. One is enough, thank you.

So, by the time I got to bed and turned my brain off, I scored about five hours of sleep.

This morning, everyone overslept and, miraculously, we still got the kids off to school on time. E lingered around the house this morning. He handles lack of sleep like such a girl. Men are seriously such cry babies.

When he finally left, I made the baby's bottle and settled in front of the big TV for some quality Netflix time.

I watched a documentary about Sudan, specifically the Lost Boys who ran from there and sought refuge in Kenya. Some of them were later relocated through a program and brought to the United States to work.

I read a book about the same subject about a year ago and watching this brought to life a lot of the images that I had to draw myself when reading. It was pretty tough to watch. And then I started thinking.

Cue the rant.

I've run up against several practicing, believing, fruit-bearing Christians who wouldn't or won't work with organizations and charities that are not primarily evangelistic. I find that to be a despicable practice. I spent the morning flashing back to conversations with these people, some of whom I am still friends with, but I no longer respect as much, remembering how they thought it was so worthless to relocate these misplaced Sudanese orphans to a country willing to take them in and help them because they weren't also teaching the gospel.

In this specific case, my thoughts are simply that the refugee camp is certainly not designed for missions work, so our best chance as Christians of being the salt and the light to the Lost Boys is to support and encourage the programs that bring them here and become a part of their lives and BE THE SALT AND THE LIGHT. The organization doesn't have to be, WE DO.

So, naturally, because I like to argue and rant and win, I texted two of those people to strike up a debate. It was lively and not good-natured, but it ended with a stalemate because birds of a feather flock together and I am one stubborn bird, so you can only imagine what my friends are like.

Anyway, I am still pretty fired up about it, so I just had to let you all know about it.

There is an aspect of the church, of Christ's body, that is exclusive, but it's not in how we approach the world. To have our message be that we will show you Christ's love, but only through a church-run organization is pretty much the opposite of Christ's message.

In that same vein, I stand by my trip with EAC, Empower A Child, a couple of Christmases ago. They were not an OPC organization, and I felt some hesitation in various members of my support system.

Gross.

EAC is nondenominational, but I researched their mission statement, and their beliefs and practices are solid and biblical. Their goal was to go out into desperate parts of Uganda and Kenya, bring light and hope and physical comforts to children, and live out Christ's love in front of them. Then, point families who were interested into bible-believing churches without insisting that they conform to all the little nuances of one specific denomination.

I find that admirable.

And amazingly open.

And very salty and lighty.

At the end of my debate session and only halfway through my documentary, I was pretty emotionally drained. I folded some laundry to calm myself down and then children started getting home from school and bothering me and E and T had to go back to the city to clean up the remnants of last night.

Leftovers, timeouts, bed time and here we are again.

Carry on.

Ooooo a new girl.

Tomorrow, vacation is over and these little miscreants go back to school.

Last night, however, was our Rosh Hashanah party at T's mom's house and I FINALLY got to meet Nanny S, the replacement over at T's sister's house.

Everyone else met her on Labor Day while I was busy in Pennsylvania but T's assessment of her was a little mixed. On the plus side, Nanny S has whipped Little Brat Twin into shape and the two girls have taken to her as well.

On the down side, she's pretty abrasive and forward and she's kind of rough with the kids, and not just her unruly little charges, but mine, too.

Last night I witnessed her accidentally bumping heads together during a game of Duck, Duck, Goose, whacking R in the head with a bag as she turned where she stood and manhandling the kids in various other momenths.

Still, none of that was intentional and maybe it's just that she seriously lacks grace and agility and nothing more serious. But we all (and by that I mean T and myself) like to be a little dramatic and crazy and so we are going to remain suspicious until Nanny S proves herself.

After a few minutes with the new girl, I slipped into the kitchen to get the kids their dinner and T caught up with me.

"So, what do you think?"

"Well, I'm prettier than her so we're safe. Otherwise, we would have had to stop somewhere for you to buy me presents on the way home."

We were laughing pretty loudly when E came in to ask us why were cackling. He addedd,

"And why are you laughing like that? Kimmy is the only person you laugh with. You don't even laugh with me anymore."

"You don't love her like I do." I said through a mouthful of mysteriously delicious red stew with mushrooms in it. We laughed some more.

"You're hooking up with our nanny?!" E asked, and then we were so obnoxiously loud and *someone* snorted.

"There's going to be a Lifetime movie about us..." I left them to work on their marriage.

For the first time ever, my kids ate but the cousins didn't. Nanny S had a hard time getting even a few bites in them and then their idiot mother came into the room and said they had enough and they could have cookies.

In the next few hours I found out that already Nanny S has the same list of complaints that drove Nanny K out of here.

Crazy and her husband expect their nanny to do the work of four people with a smile on her face. Oh, and she moved here from Arizona so they didn't meet her until she came and she's not allowed to wear skirts because the cross tattoo on her leg will show. The cross tattoo on her arm is always showing, but the one on her leg is offensive.

I don't see this lasting, but I'm trying to be helpful anyway.

When Nanny S asked me point blank, "Do YOU have to cook EVERY day?" I kind of shrugged and didn't mention how sometimes we forget all about dinner and just feed the kids leftovers all weekend. T's sister is crazy if she thinks she's going to find someone who will do all her cooking, all her cleaning, keep up with her OCD, put up with her husband, her naughty children, never get her days off (already happening to Nanny S) AND be happy about it.

Nanny S might stay, but she's certainly not shy about complaining.

That house is a nightmare.

And what makes my heart beat in fear is the knowledge that IT COULD HAVE BEEN ME.

I can't express enough thanks to God for placing me with the good sister.

Sometimes, I can't help thinking that I could handle the wacko and straighten out that house, but I like to think I can do anything. I probably couldn't. They would probably fire me for trying. The husband over there is not very friendly.

Anyway, I'm here and that's amazing.

And Nanny S is there, so that's fun to talk about. You'll hear more about it.

Tonight, the weather here is wild and crazy, in keeping with its theme for the day. It has been WINDY here all day and T's mom is having the worst anxiety about it. E and T are in the city and I am on night shift today.

We kicked off the morning at a bright and early 11 0'clock and all I did this afternoon was make chocolate chip pancakes and thank our cleaning lady for being the most wonderful person on earth. T's mom came over around dinner time to help out after they left and to express her concern for their well being in the wind.

Then the rain started and she's been calling in half hour intervals ever since.

They called a little while ago to say they are monitoring some water damage and subsequent flooding in a building they own in the city and to ask if I would sleep upstairs in order to hear the kids.

So, I am off to the couch, which means I'll be watching TV until four in the morning and tomorrow is going to be my first early day in a few. Should be fun!

Cue the automatic coffee maker!

Different.

A lot has changed since my recent post five minutes ago but really, a week ago.

I have broken my laziness spell and have resorted to sleep aid two nights this week after not sleeping a wink two nights in a row.

One of those nights was a cocktail party here at the house, hosted by my employers. We put out a ton of appetizers and desserts and E made some drinks and then chased everyone around with tequila shooters the whole night.

I was technically working, but all the kids were in bed and I only had to feed the baby on occasion and put him back to bed, so my bosses didn't hesitate to liquor me up. I love them.

We had a quiet night in last night and today was uneventful as well.

We got up and breakfasted so late that no one felt like doing anything after that. We spent the morning napping and watching TV while the kids entertained themselves in the basement.

At some point we realized it was absolutely beautiful outside and so E and T took the kids on ahead while I took another nap and waited for Monkey to wake up.

He had his first full week of school and he has made leaps and bounds with potty training. He's been in underwear all week and this weekend and we've had minimal accidents. However, he's holding his pooh until morning time and doing it in his diaper to avoid having to use the potty. Punk face.

But when you call him that, he goes, "I not a punk face."

But he is.

When he did wake up, we headed out to catch up with the others. They had been headed to the park, but had been caught up at a friend's house on the way. We called and brought a bottle along for Baby Frogger and walked over. I have passed this house on several occasions but I'd never actually been there before. They have bay-front property and their yard dips down all the way to the water.

They've had the landscaping done in levels so first there's a picnic table and then the next landing is a little pond and grassy area and then there's several paths that go sideways or down to little play areas or lookout points all the way until you reach the water level. It's really cool. From one landing, we could see the pier and our park and Monkey remembered that he wanted to go there so I took him over.

The pier has been closed for most of the time that I've been here and they finally finished repairing the rotted boards and now you can walk out on it again. We chased a seagull away and took a walk on the "bridge" and then the other kids and T showed up.

We spent the rest of the day there, going home only because we had to feed the kids and put them to bed. Which we did.

Early.

And then we sat around doing nothing.

I've been installing a program on my computer for the last two hours and it doesn't look promising. Before I give up and go to bed, I'm going to play one more round of Tetris because it OWNS ME and then I'm off to dream land.

One more week until Florida!

TIME WARP.

This is from last weekend...

Ahhhh.

The first night after a heat spell is always so refreshing.

It smelled vaguely of fall outside this evening and I could not be happier. Tonight, my room is slightly chilly, exactly the way it should be. And this weekend I was paid the nicest compliment ever by my wonderful boss.

She called me the best nanny in the world.

Now, from my happy place and back to reality.

The series of horribly strange and persistent bug bites on my neck are gone and I no longer look like a plague patient. After some brief research and a consult with J’s doctor, we’re crediting West Nile virus. Weird, rashy, itchy, long-lasting…very mild West Nile. Tis the season.

We’ve been forced to get over our lazy selves and start using bug spray. The good stuff.

And meanwhile, my battle with bugs in the basement has been put to another rest. I’ve discovered the repelling powers of cedar. Apparently, everything hates it, most especially silverfish. Nasty, cursed silverfish.
After spraying two to death with ammonia the other night, I thought it was time to get proactive so I ordered something like 100 cedar wood balls and just threw them all around my room. That day, silverfish great and small showed themselves and suffered the consequences.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

I don’t know if it’s because this is my least favorite time of year (the dog days of summer) or if it’s just my own hormonal cycles, but I have been disgustingly lazy for the last two weeks. It’s downright sad.
I’m pooped by two-ish and on the days I don’t get a nap I just drop right into bed around 9 and then everyone makes fun of me at breakfast.

And dragging myself out of bed in the morning for that has been quite a chore as well.

The other day I sat outside on the porch step watching TV shows on my phone while the kids played instead of playing soccer with J, like usual. I’m so lazy, I have used over half of my data plan and I’m only in the first week of my billing cycle.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

Coffee is going to help me snap out of it. And hopefully, by the time it starts upsetting my acid-prone stomach, I’ll be able to wean off it (again) and function like a normal human being.

Or at least, like I used to.

I’ve been thinking a lot about things I need to get done in the next few weeks, to prepare for Florida. And then things I need to have done this fall, by next year, spring, what my plans might be next summer.

I realize while I’m doing it that it’s not healthy to sit down and let all these things weigh on me at the same time, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it. I am in fact, my worst enemy.

But.

Sigh.

I keep my life interesting.

Also, I exhaust myself on those random nights when I’m not already pooped by 8 o’clock. Gotta keep one step ahead of the insomnia.

My other efforts have included turning off my internet after 10 o’clock, which doesn’t always happen because I am an addict and we have trouble with things like that, and acquiring two new, wonderful pillows from upstairs.

Since I am the one who decides where everything goes and since the linen closet was too full to hold everything it has been asked to lately, I thought it would be best if I added these to fluffy beauties to my bedding collection.

Since my net canopy went up, my bed has turned into a sort of cocoon of pillows and blankets and whatever laundry hasn’t been put away yet. Also, whatever books I was reading before I fell asleep and several million hair ties that fall out while I am asleep.

Last night I rolled over and my bathing suit was stuck in my bracelet.

Don’t worry, it’s clean.

It feels like my bed just gets comfier and cozier every night, which might be aiding my laziness, but who can really say?

Here’s what I know:

I haven’t had to take any sleep aids in over a month. That’s a good thing.

The other thing I know, I have been avoiding talking about because it’s so sad.

My monkey, my sweet, naughty monkey, who has been hopelessly potty training for two days now, is starting school tomorrow. He has done nothing but pee (well, he pooped once) on the floor and then ask for M&Ms for 48 hours but it is going to be SO SAD when he leaves me tomorrow for his first day of that sorry excuse for a preschool.

SO. SAD.

I intend to spend the day snuggling with Tiny Baby, who is more like a large snuggly, frog, and watching Netflix to cope with my sadness.

Oh well.

This is not even close to what I should be doing right now.

I am off for the next two days, and there are a lot of things I should get done before I leave and even more things that I should pack so that I can leave.

But it's all about priorities and right now mine is watching this Harry Potter movie.

Nanny K left yesterday and last night we had Shabbat dinner at T's mom's house with her sister's family as well. They're not taking it well. T's brother-in-law, who isn't all that friendly anyway, barely said two words to me, going so far as to stare blankly into space instead of responding when I spoke to him.

I guess it's hard knowing that someone probably knows all your dirty laundry and they're not your employee to drive away.

Oh well.

T's sister is more of the troubled type, not nasty, and she just looked occupied with her three wild children and perhaps wasn't as bright as usual.

It was T's mom who approached me in the kitchen and admitted to crying. Nanny K wasn't even sure T's mom liked her, and who knows if she really did, but she knew how good K was for the kids and she sure didn't want her to go.

Oh well.

A replacement flies in from Arizona on Monday. Hold your breath!

The dinner last night was disastrous in other ways. Thankfully, we got our kids fed before their cousins arrived. Ours were pretty rotten all day, but once there were six of them tearing around the house, the adults pretty much just gave up any hope of peace and quiet and went to their happy places.

After I had played all my turns in both Scrabble and Words With Friends, my happy place ceased effectiveness. So, I got a hold of the baby and put him to sleep and escaped having to handle the kids for the rest of the night. By nine o'clock, everyone else was sick of the kids, too.

Particularly, J, who hadn't stopped crying once since 3 that afternoon.

We took them home, put them in bed, and pretended the whole night had never happened.

Home so early from Shabbat dinner and with no kitchen to clean up, I found myself with a rare few hours of down time. I hardly knew what to do with myself. Should I hit the bar? Should I call around and see who's up and wants to go out?

No.

I went to bed and worked on various projects on my computer until I fell good and asleep.

I got a full eight hours in, which I desperately needed after my excursion into New Jersey on Wednesday. I hadn't slept well all week. Last night was a dream. Except I didn't remember any dreams, so it was more like a dreamless dream.

Tomorrow I am going to church where I grew up for the first time in awhile and I am very excited. I have to get up at the crack of dawn to make it to the bus that will put me in Hackettstown fifteen minutes later than I would like it to, but I am still very, very excited.

Also, I have a very important announcement to make.

Just in case you don't already know,

Avengers is back in theaters this weekend. GO SEE IT!